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I used sarcasm in the post title; the picture may have let you in on the secret. I could also have titled this entry “Please Reconsider Using Public Transportation When It Snows.” Today Baltimore received its third helping of wintry weather so far this season. Since Charm City is snuggled mid-Atlanticly, Mother Nature likes to give the city a little snow and a little rain. Because icy slush equals VEHICULAR EXCITEMENT! For proof, take this little bit from the Baltimore Sun:

In Baltimore, a man in his late 50s was killed after he lost control about 3:45 p.m. of his Chevrolet pickup truck while entering the southbound lanes of the Jones Falls Expressway from North Avenue, police said. A sport utility vehicle hit the truck as it spun across three lanes, and the man was ejected and run over by his truck.

Run over by his own truck! I’d capitalize that phrase for emphasis if I didn’t already fill that quota today. I mean, you have to feel for his family if only for the fact that nobody would see that end coming. Things like this don’t happen in Pennsylvania.

Seriously, you would think a city of reasonably intelligent citizens would learn that freezing rain plus motorized vehicles means don’t speed, tailgate, or brake ferociously on curves. A positive tip? Turn on your headlights when the sun has set and moisture descends from the clouds. In bad weather, it seems a third of Baltimore’s drivers drop their speed to pedestrian levels while another third fails to grasp what’s meant by “safe braking distance” or what I like to call “intelligence.” That last third? Well, they’re the people who don’t need to strap on their “special” helmets when they get behind the wheel. They’re also the only ones keeping me from trading my Honda for an armored Humvee.