Annie and I were sitting on her front porch last night around midnight when we saw something rather disgusting. A drunk individual was walking down the sidewalk across the street—we aren’t sure if it was male or female, it was that ambiguous—when said individual grabbed the upper part of its T-shirt and blew its nose in the T-shirt! I mean, my God, what is wrong with these people? A more disturbing question might be: is it too late? Has it already bred with other classy specimens?